When I was young I wanted to date a doctor for money. Can you believe how superficial I was?

Now I would date him for the prescriptions.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the farmer use a steam roller?

He wanted to grow mashed potatoes.

Why did the kids tell jokes to the mirror?

They wanted to see it crack up!

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

Why happened when the cat swallowed a coin ?

There was some money in the kitty !

Where do birds invest their money ?

In the stork market !

Believe Jokes More Believe Jokes

What is the 100% guaranteed way to get younger looking skin?

Believe in reincarnation.

Why do teenage girls not like filing papers?

They just don't believe in labels.

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

Why can I never be a doctor?

Because I don't have any patients

Why did Steve Jobs decline chemotherapy?

Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Date Jokes More Date Jokes

What's the worst single thing you could do to someone?

Start dating them

What did the mushroom say on his dating profile?

I'm a fungi!

Prescription Jokes More Prescription Jokes

What's taking the pharmacist so long?

It's just one prescription" *behind the counter the pharmacist is sinking in quicksand and screaming*

When your prescription says "DO NOT DRINK ALCOHOL WHILE TAKING THIS" how many beers are you really allowed to have?

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