Whole Foods Cashier: Do you have your grocery bags?

Me: Kidding At $6 an apple you should drive them home and make an apple pie for me.

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Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What do you give a kid with no hands for Christmas?

Doesnt matter, he'll never unwrap the gift

What is the worst kind of wood to have in your home around your kids?

Naughty pine

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives your girlfriend wild?

A $100 bill.

How do you know when you're too drunk to drive?

When you swerve to miss a tree and realize it was your air freshener

Apple Jokes More Apple Jokes

How many Apple executives does it take to change a light bulb?

They dont. They turn it into the hype of the new generation.

Why did Steve Jobs die too soon?

Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Apple Pie Jokes More Apple Pie Jokes

Why is a praying muslim like apple pie with ice cream?

Both are in *a la mode*.

How do terrorists like their apple pie?

Allah mode.

Grocery Bag Jokes More Grocery Bag Jokes

Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?

one is plastic and dangerous for your kids to play with, the other holds your groceries

Whole Foods Cashier: Do you have your grocery bags?

Me: Kidding At $6 an apple you should drive them home and make an apple pie for me.