Apple Pie Jokes

What do you call an American who does not like apple pie?

A Communist

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Why is a praying muslim like apple pie with ice cream?

Both are in *a la mode*.

Whole Foods Cashier: Do you have your grocery bags?

Me: Kidding At $6 an apple you should drive them home and make an apple pie for me.

What do you get if you cross a jogger with an apple pie ?

Puff pastry !

What did the apple say to the apple pie?

You've got some crust."

Why did the apple pie get fired from his job?

Because he showed up baked.

How do terrorists like their apple pie?

Allah mode.

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Pray Jokes More Pray Jokes

What are you praying for?

Husband: For guidance. Wife: Pray for hardness. Leave guidance to me!!!

Who should you pray to if you don't want the airplane that you are on to get diverted?

Diversion Mary

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

What did one cancer cell say to the other cancer cell ?

Let's go get Jobs.

Why don't house painters wear wedding rings on the job?

Nobody wants to marry an underemployed alcoholic.

Muslim Jokes More Muslim Jokes

What does a muslim say when he makes a mistake?

Allahu Mybad

What do you call a drunken Muslim?

A: Mohammered.

Apple Jokes More Apple Jokes

Why is Apple donating money to cancer research?

Cancer stole our jobs!"

What falls first an apple or a black man?

An apple because the balackman hangs.

Ice Cream Jokes More Ice Cream Jokes

What is Bill Cosby's favorite flavor of ice cream?

Ten Roofies.

Why was the hipster drinking milk?

He liked Ice Cream before it was cool

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

Why doesn't Mexico ever win any medals in the Olympics?

Because everyone who can run, jump, or swim has already crossed the border.

What do you get when you cross a pig with an elephant?

A very large animal that knows a lot of jokes.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

How do the French defend a city?

We don't know, they've never tried it.

Why was Albert Einstein's dad afraid to teach him vowels?

Because everytime he tried, he kept owing his son money!

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

Why did OP get fired from his job as a mailman?

He never delivered.

What did the man say when he sat on a candle?

Fire in the hole!