Apple Pie Jokes

What do you call an American who does not like apple pie?

A Communist

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Why is a praying muslim like apple pie with ice cream?

Both are in *a la mode*.

Whole Foods Cashier: Do you have your grocery bags?

Me: Kidding At $6 an apple you should drive them home and make an apple pie for me.

What do you get if you cross a jogger with an apple pie ?

Puff pastry !

What did the apple say to the apple pie?

You've got some crust."

Why did the apple pie get fired from his job?

Because he showed up baked.

How do terrorists like their apple pie?

Allah mode.

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American Jokes More American Jokes

What kind of native American is Nikki Minaj?

Arapahoe.

How do you call an American that hasn't gone to the toilet in 7 days?

An American full of himself.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

Why are stick people extinct?

Because you can't rub two sticks together you get fire.

What did the mailman say when his Mail truck caught fire?

That he needed to address the situation

Ice Cream Jokes More Ice Cream Jokes

How do you make a Gorilla float?

Two scoops of ice cream some club soda and a very tasty Gorilla!

How do babies get out of bellies?

ME: "Look! Ice cream!" *5 min later* 3YO COVERED IN ICE CREAM: "How do babies get out of be---"

Terrorist Jokes More Terrorist Jokes

How do you spot a terrorist?

They'll freak out when they hear a helicopter

Where do terrorists store their money?

In the West Bank

Allah Mode Jokes More Allah Mode Jokes

What do you call a Halal pie?

Allah mode.

How do terrorists like their apple pie?

Allah mode.

Grocery Bag Jokes More Grocery Bag Jokes

Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?

one is plastic and dangerous for your kids to play with, the other holds your groceries

Whole Foods Cashier: Do you have your grocery bags?

Me: Kidding At $6 an apple you should drive them home and make an apple pie for me.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

Why do kangaroos hate rainy days?

Because all the kids have to play in side.

What does a goat have when it gives birth?

A kid.

Pray Jokes More Pray Jokes

What do you call it when you talk to God?

Praying. Now what do you call it when God talks to you? Schizophrenia, it's called schizophrenia.

Where do salt lovers go to pray?

OC The taberNaCl. (Sorry..) (X-posted to dad jokes.)