Why did Micheal Jackson go to JC Penny?

He heard little boys pants were 50% off...

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Why did the kid only water half the lawn?

Because there was a 50% chance of rain

What do you get if you cross 50 Shades of Grey with Blurred Lines?

A greydient

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Why did Hannibal Lecter try DiGiorno's Pizza?

He heard it had de y flavor.

What did the farmer's daughter say when she lost her virginity?

Get off me dad you're crushing my smokes! Or "That'll do pig, that'll do." I have heard it both ways.

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Why are there no Walmarts in Iran?

Because there's a JC Penny at every corner.

Why did Micheal Jackson go to JC Penny?

He heard little boys pants were 50% off...

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What do you say to Micheal Jackson when he is on the beach?

Get out of my son!

Why did Micheal Jackson want to be a camp counselor?

He would give Merit Badges for pitching a tent.