Why did the emo swallow an alarm clock?

So he could wake up inside.

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Swallow Jokes More Swallow Jokes

How do you know when you have a good redneck girlfriend?

If she can give you oral with a dip in and know which to swallow and which to spit.

Why do you give children who swallowed poison some milk?

To make them happy before they die.

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

What's the first thing a Navy wife does when she wakes up in the morning?

She puts her clothes back on and goes home.

Why do golf commentators speak softly?

To not wake the audience.

Emo Jokes More Emo Jokes

What falls faster from a tree? A leaf or an emo?

The leaf, the rope stops the emo.

How do you get an emo out of a tree?

Untie the rope...

Alarm Clock Jokes More Alarm Clock Jokes

What do you call a screaming timepiece?

An alarmed clock.

What did they say about the guy who woke up and jerked off on his alarm clock every day?

He always came on time.