Why did the old man buy his wig at the thrift store?

Because he didn't want toupee.

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Why did the horse stir his cereal with his hoof?

Because he wanted to feel his oats!

Why did the English teacher hire a midget geography nut as his lawyer?

He wanted someone who understood and case.

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Where do hipsters buy their clothes?

Most likely a thrift store or Urban Outfitters, TBH.

Where does Kylie buy her kebabs?

From Jason's Doner Van. (Sorry, I'm guessing this one's only for the Aussies and Brits)

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Why did the old man get kicked off the nudist colony's golf course?

He kept leaving ball marks on the greens.

What do old men and the Niagara Falls have in common?

Just receding.

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Why did the old man buy his wig at the thrift store?

Because he didn't want toupee.

What kind of wig can hear ?

An earwig !