Why did the old man buy his wig at the thrift store?

Because he didn't want toupee.

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What cake wanted to rule the world?

Attila the Bun.

What part does Woody Harrelson want to be remembered for most?

Harrelson's woodie.

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What is the difference between a hog and a man?

A: A hog doesn't have to sit in a bar and buy drinks all night just so he can f*** some pig.

How much money does the Government pay people with autistic disorder?

Enough to buy a computer that can play League of Legends.

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What do call an old man that asks questions?

Pop Quiz

What do you call an old man selling plums?

An entrepruner.

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How's your love life?

Well, I went on a date. 45 minutes in I realized it was a turtle in a wig. "I'm sorry man" it's ok. still got laid.

Why did the old man buy his wig at the thrift store?

Because he didn't want toupee.