Why do hipsters only use the microwave?

Because they don't like conventional ovens.

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Why do all travelers use the road to get to Jordans most popular destination?

Because they're all Petra-flied of using the air!

What does Arnold Schwarzenegger say when Christmas is over?

OC (please use your Ahnold voice) Hasta la vista, Baby....Jesus.

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Where do cows like to live?

St. Moo-is.

Why doesn't Bill like old houses?

A: He's afraid of the draft.

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What sound does a baby make when you put it in a microwave?

I don't know....I was too busy masterbating.

What scratches the window before it explodes?

A baby in a microwave

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Why did the hipster go to bed early?

Because he sleeps before it gets cool.

Why do hipsters only buy games from GOG?

Because other stores are too mainSteam.