Why don't Geordies use scales?

Because they can weigh things by eye man.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What has 2 legs but doesn't use them?

A man named Bob running down a train track (only Asians will understand)

What's the difference between... A gold fish and a mountain goat?

One mucks about the mountain. What's the difference between a police batton and a magician's wand One is used for cunning stunts.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

Whats the last thing you give a tickle me elmo before it leaves the factory?

Two test-tickles.

What do you call a dead chicken that likes to throw things?

A geist. Thanks! I will show myself out.

Scale Jokes More Scale Jokes

What did the chef say when he noticed his scales were broken?

No weigh...

Why can't the insecure fish sing well?

He's never comfortable in his own scales.

Weigh Jokes More Weigh Jokes

What weighs 15,000 pounds and combs her red hair with a fork?

Princess Arielephant

What's as big as a horse but weighs nothing?

A horses shadow!

Geordie Jokes More Geordie Jokes

Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangaroot?

One's a marsupial, the other's a Geordie stuck in a lift

Why couldn't the Geordie go above the seventh floor in the tower block?

He had a fear of eights