Why don't Geordies use scales?

Because they can weigh things by eye man.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why did the computer get a virus?

He wasn't using protection.

What kind of drugs do ducks use?

Quack.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

Why is Pizza Hut listed as your emergency contact?

Me: Because if things ever get crazy, they'll know where to find me.

How many Environmentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they will never change a thing.

Scale Jokes More Scale Jokes

Why did the scale decide that the scam artists were heavier than the novels?

Because the cons outweighed the prose.

Why did the scale not wear any of his shirts?

Because they all had a tare

Weigh Jokes More Weigh Jokes

What weighs 35 tons has four fuzzy ears and is 80 million years old?

Two rabbits riding a brontosaurus.

What weighs 15,000 pounds and is cursed with a sleeping spell?

Princess Aurorasaurus

Geordie Jokes More Geordie Jokes

Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangaroot?

One's a marsupial, the other's a Geordie stuck in a lift

Why couldn't the Geordie go above the seventh floor in the tower block?

He had a fear of eights