Why don't Geordies use scales?

Because they can weigh things by eye man.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What's concurrency?

Fake money they use in prisons.

Why couldn't I call back a Bernie Sanders volunteer?

Because they were using a Berner Phone.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What do you call a seamstress who makes things up?

A *fabric*ator. It was a slow day at work...

Why do white people think they can say the N word?

Because it is the only thing left that still belongs to black people.

Scale Jokes More Scale Jokes

Why did the lizard go on a diet ?

It weighed too much for its scales !

What do you call a scale that always resets itself to zero?

Tareable

Weigh Jokes More Weigh Jokes

What did the chef say when he noticed his scales were broken?

No weigh...

What's as big as a horse but weighs nothing?

A horses shadow!

Geordie Jokes More Geordie Jokes

Why couldn't the Geordie go above the seventh floor in the tower block?

He had a fear of eights

Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangaroot?

One's a marsupial, the other's a Geordie stuck in a lift