Why shouldn't you believe a person in bed?

Why was the ink happy?

Because it had its in-de-pen-dance. I'm posting lots of really bad jokes tonight that just appear in my head, if just one person enjoys just one joke is worth it, good evening.

What do you call a person who has lost all hope?

A: Linus

Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What did the blanket say as it fell of the bed?

Sheet

Why did the kid punch the bed?

His mother told him to hit the hay.

Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

How can you tell when Mitt Romney is lying?

His mouth is moving.

What do you get when you mix a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic?

Someone who lies awake at night wondering if there's a dog

Believe Jokes More Believe Jokes

Why are there no owls here?

I WAS LEAD TO BELIEVE THERE WOULD BE OWLS HERE! #hooters

What do you call an old-school CIA agent who believes his work is none of the public's goddamn business?

A Pte-redact-yl