What do you do when you see a black man lying on the floor?

You stop laughing and shoot him again.

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Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

What do Volkswagen and a boy going through puberty have in common?

They both lie about their emissions.

What lies on the bottom of the sea and shakes?

A nervous wreck! I first heard this at xmas 1952 (64 years ago) and it still makes me smile.

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What do you say to Harry Potter when he has a mosquito bite he can't stop scratching?

Quidditching

How do you stop a French tank?

A: Shoot the guy that's pushing it!

Laugh Jokes More Laugh Jokes

What do you call it when a hedge fund manager loses his job to a Watson inspired AI built by IBM?

It doesn't matter. We'll all be laughing too hard to care.

Why do Gypsy's walk funny?

Because of their Crystal Balls EDIT: I'm not sure if anyone's posted this before my mum's sister emailed her from across the globe.(New Zealand) I laughed so hard I thought I'd put it here. Credit goes to my Mum's sister though.

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

What do you call a camera that shoots out true facts about an ancient Phoenician city?

A Canon, Canaan-canon cannon... (I'm not sorry...)

How do you shoot a unique deer?

You-neak up on it and shoot it. Credit: Grandpa Clifford

Black Man Jokes More Black Man Jokes

What's the difference between a black man and an archealogist?

One is a nerdy digger.

Why was the black man so tall?

Because his knee grows.

Floor Jokes More Floor Jokes

What do you call a foot doctor, curled up in a ball on the floor?

A pedal physician in the fetal position.

What's the last sound you hear before a pube hits the floor?

tppppthh...."spit sound"