Why was the calendar depressed?

His days were numbered.

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Why'd the seaman cross the road?

Because I wore the wrong sock that day.

Why Isn't The Media Covering This?

the media asks other media, peering into its media mirror, media-ing before a day of media in media.

Number Jokes More Number Jokes

Why did Microsoft skip a number when naming their new operating system?

Because 7 ate 9.

What's a horse's number one priority when voting?

A stable economy...

Depress Jokes More Depress Jokes

How do depressed people lighten' up?

They drink bleach.

How do you depress a room full of geeks?

Hold the door! I'm a leaf on the wind!"

Calendar Jokes More Calendar Jokes

What did the Calendar say to the Wall-clock the moment it became June 1st?

I am dismayed!"

Why did the man tear a page out of the calendar?

He wanted to take a month off.