Why was the diamond depressed?

He had been under a lot of pressure lately.

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Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

How did the rooster get a lot of chicks?

A lot of good yolks!

How do you know Stephen Hawking has jungle fever?

He knows a lot about black holes

Depress Jokes More Depress Jokes

Why is the archaeologist depressed?

Some old stuff just got dug up

Why was the diamond depressed?

He had been under a lot of pressure lately.

Pressure Jokes More Pressure Jokes

What does Cam Newton and Fig Newton have in common?

They both crumble under pressure

What's the reason my shower isn't working?

You have only one second to guess the answer. No pressure.

Diamond Jokes More Diamond Jokes

What do you call a line of diamonds on fire?

Hotline Bling.

How can Euchre and Marriage be similar?

Sometimes you start out all hearts and diamonds, but end up wishing you had a club and a spade.