Why was the diamond depressed?

He had been under a lot of pressure lately.

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Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

Why are there a lot of problem gamblers in the Harry Potter universe?

Because they have a quidditch.

What do you call the offspring of a black man and an octopus?

I don't know but it sure can pick a lot of cotton.

Depress Jokes More Depress Jokes

Why was the necrophiliac depressed?

His rotten girlfriend split on him.

Why's the sink depressed?

It's been feeling drained

Pressure Jokes More Pressure Jokes

What does Cam Newton have in common with a Fig Newton?

They are both soft and crumble under pressure.

Why has Venus been so distant lately?

Mars answers "shes been under a lot of pressure and has really bad gas"

Diamond Jokes More Diamond Jokes

What does marriage have in common with a deck of cards?

In the beginning, you only need two hearts and a diamond. Later on, a club and a spade.

What do you call two diamonds in a healthy relationship?

Carbon dating