Why was the diamond depressed?

He had been under a lot of pressure lately.

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Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

How many men escaped the destruction of Sodom?

A Lot.

How does Planned Parenthood paint their walls?

They go to Home Depot, get paint and rollers Sometimes they hire private contractors Lots of paint and tarps and tape, it's not that fun

Depress Jokes More Depress Jokes

Why is depressed clothing so convenient?

It hangs itself

Why was the comic book series depressed?

Because it had too many issues.

Pressure Jokes More Pressure Jokes

Why has Venus been so distant lately?

Mars answers "shes been under a lot of pressure and has really bad gas"

What's the difference between a spitter and a swallower?

10 lbs of pressure on the back of the head.

Diamond Jokes More Diamond Jokes

What do you call a line of diamonds on fire?

Hotline Bling.

Why did the archaeologist ask a diamond out to dinner?

Because of his enthusiasm for Carbon-Dating.