Why was the diamond depressed?

He had been under a lot of pressure lately.

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Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

Why did the Computer Engineer retire young?

He had a lot of cache.

Why do cows never walk out of horror movies?

They're able to stomach a lot.

Depress Jokes More Depress Jokes

What's life like with alchohol?

Depressing. What's life like without alchohol? Depressing. I need friends.

What kind of car does depressed Daniel drive?

Sad Dan

Pressure Jokes More Pressure Jokes

What did the bad shock tell the good shock?

I'm bad under pressure!! It's the lamest car joke in the world.

What does Cam Newton and Fig Newton have in common?

They both crumble under pressure

Diamond Jokes More Diamond Jokes

What do you call a lump of coal and a diamond hanging out together?

Carbon Dating.

Why did the bar owner by a diamond mine get arrested?

He attributed to the delinquency of a miner.