Pressure Jokes

What's the difference between a spitter and a swallower?

10 lbs of pressure on the back of the head.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What does Cam Newton and Fig Newton have in common?

They both crumble under pressure

What does Cam Newton have in common with a Fig Newton?

They are both soft and crumble under pressure.

Why did Vanilla Ice steal a can of hair spray?

Because the label said, "Contents Under Pressure" Got this joke from my brother :D

Why are divers always so nervous?

Because they're always under pressure!

What did the bad shock tell the good shock?

I'm bad under pressure!! It's the lamest car joke in the world.

What got the apple into skydiving?

Pear pressure.

Why do men fart more than women?

Because women won't shut up long enough to build up the pressure.

What's the Top Job Requirement for Deep Sea Diver Position?

Ability to work under pressure.

Why don't women fart?

They can't shut up long enough to build up pressure.

What's the reason my shower isn't working?

You have only one second to guess the answer. No pressure.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why was the diamond depressed?

He had been under a lot of pressure lately.

Why has Venus been so distant lately?

Mars answers "shes been under a lot of pressure and has really bad gas"

What did the piston say to the freely expanding gas?

No pressure

Why can't an egg ever be in charge?

Because they crack under pressure.

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Fig Newton Jokes More Fig Newton Jokes

What's the worlds most forceful fig?

The Fig Newton.

What does Cam Newton and Fig Newton have in common?

They both crumble under pressure

Pier Pressure Jokes More Pier Pressure Jokes

Why did the boy jump off the dock?

Pier pressure

Why did the boat dock with the all of the other boats?

Pier Pressure

Crumble Jokes More Crumble Jokes

What does Cam Newton and Fig Newton have in common?

They both crumble under pressure

What's the difference between Belgian waffles and American waffles?

Belgium waffles crumble in the hands of German.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did Batman tell Robin before Robin got in the car?

Hey Robin get in the car"!

How to tell if you're wearing too much Axe: 1. Are you wearing Axe?

No- Good. Yes- That's too much.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

Why was the kleptomaniac frustrated by that joke "why can't you explain puns to kleptomaniacs?

He couldn't take a joke.

What's the best things about Anti-Jokes?

They have a large following!

Tugboat Jokes More Tugboat Jokes

Where does a tugboat go when it feels sick?

To the Dock

How did the tugboat get AIDS?

It was rear-ended by a ferry.

Monkey Jokes More Monkey Jokes

What do monkeys drink in space?

Orangu-Tang.

What do you call a monkey in a suit?

Over-dressed!

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

What did Pippin Took do when he was drunk?

He began to feel Merry.

Why did the shark go to the doctors?

Because he didn't feel very whale