How do you cut a turd into 5 pieces?

Squish it in your hand.

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Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

How do you stop a baby from walking in circles?

Pin its other hand to the ground.

What happens when you goose a ghost?

You get a hand full of sheet. (Joke from my mom)

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

Why did the bald guy cut a hole in his pocket?

Because he wanted to run his fingers through his hair.

Why did you cut me down, lumberjack?

Lumberjack: Oh, you really don't know why? Tree: Sorry, I'm stumped.

5 Jokes More 5 Jokes

What happens if I microwave 5 Barbies?

Me: That's an oddly specific question. 4: I already know what happens if I do it with 4

Why wasn't Boy George any good at English?

because he always put 5 commas before chameleon.

Turd Jokes More Turd Jokes

Why does Saturday stink?

Because it has a turd in it.

Why does it say TRD on that Toyota truck?

Because it's a turd!

Squish Jokes More Squish Jokes

What has 100 legs but can't walk?

Johnny: 50 pairs of pants? Jimmy: No, A centipede. Jhonny: What? why? Jimmy: Because I squished it

How do you cut a turd into 5 pieces?

Squish it in your hand.