Turd Jokes

What dog is the worst at polishing a turd?

A poodull

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What do women and turds have in common?

The older they are, the easier they are to pick up.

Why do Italians carry slices of turd in their wallets?

For identification.

Why does Saturday stink?

Because it has a turd in it.

Whats the difference between you and a bucket of turds?

The bucket

How do you cut a turd into 5 pieces?

Squish it in your hand.

Why does it say TRD on that Toyota truck?

Because it's a turd!

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Why did the blond get fired from the boomerang factory?

She threw away all the bent ones. Why did she get re-hired They all came back.

When your mom is mad at you and finds anything to throw at you https://www.youtube.com/watch?

v=75cA3xmssM

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What do you call the sequel to Straight Outta Compton about Dr Dre and Snoop Dogg?

The Next Episode

Why was Star Wars shot Episodes 4, 5, 6, then 1, 2, 3?

Because in charge of directing, Yoda was

Casino Jokes More Casino Jokes

What'd you do this weekend?

I was shooting craps. "Oh you went to a casino " *flashback to blasting dog turds with shotgun* Um, yeah.

Why did the pig go to the casino ?

To play the slop machine !

Wallet Jokes More Wallet Jokes

What does Samuel Jackson say when he is mugging you?

What's in your wallet?

When he finishes drinking, he pulls out his wallet and say to the Bartender, "How much?

The Bartender says, "For you No charge."

Crap Jokes More Crap Jokes

What would a diatomic Calcium molecule look like if existed?

Like Crap or Feces (its the same) WHY Because its Ca=Ca (equal sign is a double bond)

Why are constipated people so rude?

They don't give a crap

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Why don't astronauts get hungry after being blasted into space?

Because they've just had a big launch.

What did the older terrorist say to the younger terrorist before he headed out for a party?

Go on, have a blast.

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Why are toilet tasks called ONE and TWO?

Because TWO rhymes with POO

Why were the baker's hands smelly?

He kneaded a poo

Saturday Jokes More Saturday Jokes

What are the strongest days?

Saturday and Sundays. The others are weakdays

How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?

Tell her a joke on Wednesday!