How do you know when there is an elephant under your bed ?

When your nose touches the ceiling !

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

Why did the bed spread?

Because it saw the pillow slip.

Why do men get erections while they sleep?

So they don't accidentally roll out of bed.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What is the difference between a bus driver and a cold?

One knows the stops the other stops the nose.

How many liberals does it take to defend America?

Nobody knows, they've never tried.

Elephant Jokes More Elephant Jokes

Why did the elephants go on a diet?

A: Because they had too much junk in the trunk.

How do you get an elephant into a matchbox ?

Take all the matches out first !

Nose Jokes More Nose Jokes

What did the snot say to the nose?

I gotta run.

How did the blonde burn her nose?

Bobbing for french fries.

Ceiling Jokes More Ceiling Jokes

What the Girlfriend, the Mistress and the Wife say Girlfriend: Are you done already?

Mistress: Are you done yet Wife: Beige... I think I'll paint the ceiling beige...

How do you start a rave in Ethopia???

You staple food on the ceilings.

Touch Jokes More Touch Jokes

What's Jared Fogle's favorite time of day?

When the big hand touches the little one

Where do you touch a woman to give yourself the most pleasure?

The back of her head.