How much did the obese man know about fitness?

Diddly squat

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How can I help you today, Mr Simpson?

BART: I don't know where my hair starts

When I lose faith in humanity, I think of Chili's just handing out sick, light-up beepers, trusting us to return them. And know what?

We do.

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What do programmers and obese people have in common?

They both call an 8-course meal a bite.

What do you call two obese lesbians who are about to turn in for the night?

Bedward ScissorHams

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How much did the obese man know about fitness?

Diddly squat

What did the obese man say about the belt he'd recently purchased?

Top notch.

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How much did the obese man know about fitness?

Diddly squat

How do you tell if someone is riding a bicycle for fitness or because they have a DUI?

The cigarette.

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What kind of exercises do lazy people do?

Diddly-squats

What exercise does Ned Flanders do at the gym?

Diddly squat