What can I get for you?

Me: Steak, please. W: How would you like that cooked M: By anyone other than my wife

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What's this for?

He asked. "A pay rise." I replied. "My wife told me to grow it first and then ask you."

What did Adam say to his wife on the day before Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve!

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What would you like it to be ?

A joke .

What would you like today?

Me: Make me look attractive. Barber: CAROL! CANCEL ALL MY APPOINTMENTS!

Cook Jokes More Cook Jokes

Whats the hardest part of cooking a potato?

Signing the legal guardian paperwork

What do you call a monk that cooks potatoes?

A friar? A chip monk?

M Jokes More M Jokes

What word starts with M and ends in arraige and is a man's favourite thing?

Miscarriage. This joke never gets old, just like the baby.

Who are you talking to in there?

M: *stumbles out of pantry with Nutella all over my face* nobody

Steak Jokes More Steak Jokes

Why do you have your thumb on my steak?

So I don't drop it again, Sir."

What happens when you give a cow a joint?

The steaks are high