What did Little Bo Peep say to Woody when she got caught screwing Buzz?

You got a friend in me.

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Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many Bernie supporters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One to hold the lightbulb, and the rest of the world to revolve around them

How many Apple workers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One to over hype the new lightbulb and one to make sure it breaks within a year.

Catch Jokes More Catch Jokes

What bait do you use to catch a space fish?

A worm hole

Why was the paper man sent to jail?

He was caught rustling.

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

How do you know when a white girl recently visited her friends grave?

There's Starbucks next to the headstone.

What's it called when you borrow cheese from a friend?

taking out a provoloan

Buzz Jokes More Buzz Jokes

What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?

A Space Invader.

What buzzes is black and yellow and goes along the bottom of the sea ?

A bee in a submarine !

Woody Jokes More Woody Jokes

What car does Woody drive?

AUDI ADUI ADUI!

What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story, and a Catholic priest?

One goes limp when a child walks in the room.