What did Little Bo Peep say to Woody when she got caught screwing Buzz?

You got a friend in me.

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Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many metal drummers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

one, but it takes 32 lightbulbs.

How many publishers does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Three. One to screw it in and two more to hold down the editor.

Catch Jokes More Catch Jokes

How do you catch a rabbit?

You hide in a field and make carrot noises.

What do you call a TV reality show where a 50 year old white man is trying to get laid?

To catch a predator. Why do white girls walk around in groups of 3 and 5? Because they can't even! Why do white people have so many pets? Because owning people is not legal anymore Would love to hear more white people-specific jokes :) They seem to be really rare.

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

How to scare parents?

Dad: "Can I see your report card, son?" Son: "I don't have it." Dad: "Why?" Son: "I gave it to my friend. He wanted to scare his parents."

What do you call the feeling of being unable to urinate beside a friend?

PEEr pressure!

Buzz Jokes More Buzz Jokes

What buzzes is black and yellow and goes along the bottom of the sea ?

A bee in a submarine !

How do bees go to school?

They take the buzz

Woody Jokes More Woody Jokes

What did woody and buzz say to your mom?

Strange to see your toys have the same name as us."

What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story, and a Catholic priest?

One goes limp when a child walks in the room.