Woody Jokes

What did Woody say to Buzz?

A lot. There were 3 movies.

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What car does Woody drive?

AUDI ADUI ADUI!

What did Little Bo Peep say to Woody when she got caught screwing Buzz?

You got a friend in me.

What did woody and buzz say to your mom?

Strange to see your toys have the same name as us."

What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story, and a Catholic priest?

One goes limp when a child walks in the room.

What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a priest?

Only one of them goes limp when a child walks into a room.

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Car Jokes More Car Jokes

Why did Einstein refuse to help people fix their cars?

Because his colleagues would call him the Quantum Mechanic.

What kind of car does a Japanese chef drive?

Rolls Rice

Remember Jokes More Remember Jokes

What do you call a thirsty cow?

A watermeloin.. Don't worry, I remember where the door is.

When my laptop asks "Are you sure?

it's because it still remembers all of the other bad decisions I have made.

Catholic Jokes More Catholic Jokes

What did the Catholic baker say after baking the Easter Eucharist?

He is risen.

What's the difference between Catholics and Protestants?

Protestants have sects.

Month Jokes More Month Jokes

What is Mr. T's favorite month?

April, fools

What gift do you want?

HUSBAND: "An English girl." After a month, wife returns.. HUSBAND: "Where is my gift " WIFE: "Wait for nine months!"

Woody Harrelson Jokes More Woody Harrelson Jokes

What part does Woody Harrelson want to be remembered for most?

Harrelson's woodie.

Why does Woody Harrelson's wife call him Moses?

Because he Ramparts the red sea each month

Toy Jokes More Toy Jokes

What do you call a man with a spade on his head?

Doug Got a set of tweezers as the toy as well. Hours of fun right there.

Where do black parents get gifts for their children?

At Toys We Is

Catholic Priest Jokes More Catholic Priest Jokes

What does a Catholic priest and a silver medalist have in common?

They both came in a little behind.

How many Catholic priests does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, because little boys don't fit in a lightbulb.

Moses Jokes More Moses Jokes

How did Moses make his tea in the morning?

Hebrewed it.

How does Moses get his tea ready?

Hebrews