Woody Jokes

What did Woody say to Buzz?

A lot. There were 3 movies.

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What car does Woody drive?

AUDI ADUI ADUI!

What did Little Bo Peep say to Woody when she got caught screwing Buzz?

You got a friend in me.

What did woody and buzz say to your mom?

Strange to see your toys have the same name as us."

What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story, and a Catholic priest?

One goes limp when a child walks in the room.

What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a priest?

Only one of them goes limp when a child walks into a room.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a radish and a beet?

I've never radished off to OP's mom.

What's the difference between Kung-Fu and Judo?

One is the ancient art of self defense. The other is what you make bagels out of.

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

Why was the cat scared of the tree?

Because of its bark

How do trees encourage one another?

They say "I'm rooting for you"

Moses Jokes More Moses Jokes

Why couldn't Moses adopt a kitten from the animal shelter?

Because the shelter was non prophet.

What does Moses do when he wants a beer?

He brews!

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What is the similarity between tight rope walking and an old lady giving you head?

You don't want to look down.

What has four legs but can't walk?

A chair.

Remember Jokes More Remember Jokes

Why did the train go left?

Cause it couldn't get on the right track. I made that joke when I was little and remembered it today, might as well post it.

What is a Japanese favourite beverage that they don't remember?

Affogato"

Toy Jokes More Toy Jokes

Why do Santas elves take forever to finish making toys?

Because they are always a little behind

Where does the pirate shop for his kid for Christmas?

Toys Arrrrrrrrrrr Us

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What type of car does a Loch ness monster Drive?

A nissan

How do make a car top?

Tep on the brake 'tupid.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did Fred put band aids in the refrigerator?

He wanted cold cuts.

Why didn't the hipster want to see the Saint John River and the Penobscot River?

They're two Maine streams.