What did Serena say to Venus before they faced off in the US Open?

In tennis, love means nothing.

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Face Jokes More Face Jokes

How does that make you feel?

ME: "Mphh mophh wampph." T: Again, this works better if you don't lie face down on the couch.

Who would you turn to face?

be careful with whom you chose

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What do you call a person who loved tractors but doesn't any more?

An extractor fan

Why did the peace-loving incandescent bulb reject the candle and choose the fluorescent lamp as role model?

The fluorescent lamp wouldn't hurt a fly.

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

Why are aussie bogans and necrophiliacs the same?

They both want to crack open a cold one.

What does a child without arms get for x-mas?

gloves! nah don't know, it hasn't opened the present yet

Venus Jokes More Venus Jokes

Why are there no nightclubs on Venus?

They shut down because they had a toxic atmosphere

What do you call Venus Williams' collection of Pokemon?

The 'mons of Venus.

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

What do you mean I've had enough to drink?

Hold my beer while I fight this lamppost.

Why is a UTI such a bad thing?

Because it means urine trouble

Tennis Jokes More Tennis Jokes

What's the definition of endless love?

Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles playing tennis.

Where is tennis mentioned in the Bible?

A: Where Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.