Venus Jokes

Why are there no nightclubs on Venus?

They shut down because they had a toxic atmosphere

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What did Serena say to Venus before they faced off in the US Open?

In tennis, love means nothing.

What do you call Venus Williams' collection of Pokemon?

The 'mons of Venus.

Why has Venus been so distant lately?

Mars answers "shes been under a lot of pressure and has really bad gas"

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Pressure Jokes More Pressure Jokes

What's the Top Job Requirement for Deep Sea Diver Position?

Ability to work under pressure.

Why are divers always so nervous?

Because they're always under pressure!

Mar Jokes More Mar Jokes

What on Earth did the NASA discover?

Nothing, it was on Mars

Why are there no cats on Mars?

Because there is no oxygen and they'd die from UV radiation, you idiot.

Nightclub Jokes More Nightclub Jokes

Why are there no nightclubs on Venus?

They shut down because they had a toxic atmosphere

Why didn't the number 4 get into the nightclub?

Because he is 2 square.

Answer Jokes More Answer Jokes

What's the difference between a hunter and a stalker?

ANSWER: The hunter has to wait until it's in season!

How do you know if your friend, "Doesn't even OWN a TV?

Because it's this answer to every question you ask them. "Did you hear about the President's new policy on... " "I don't even OWN a TV!"

Shut Jokes More Shut Jokes

Whenever I shut down my computer, it asks, "Are you sure you want to shut down your computer?

Then I wonder if it knows something I don't.

Why are you naked & why is Greg under your desk?

Me: Boss: Me: Shut the door when you leave

Mon Jokes More Mon Jokes

What does a stick of Big Red and a Jamaican prisoner have in common?

Dey both sinna, mon!

What do you call Venus Williams' collection of Pokemon?

The 'mons of Venus.

Pokemon Jokes More Pokemon Jokes

How would you improve our business?

Dude, I'd bankrupt you in a week. I'm just catchin Pokemon in your office."

What do you call the baseball team made out of Pokemon?

The New York Mankeys!

Bad Gas Jokes More Bad Gas Jokes

What do you call a cowboy with a case of bad gas?

Darn tootin'! (this is so dumb im sorry)

What do you call a vegetarian with bad gas?

A leaf blower