Nightclub Jokes

Why are there no nightclubs on Venus?

They shut down because they had a toxic atmosphere

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Why didn't the number 4 get into the nightclub?

Because he is 2 square.

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Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

Why was the car naked?

It was missing a tire.

Why did Ibuprofen miss his friends?

Because Paracetamol on fire.

Venus Jokes More Venus Jokes

What did Serena say to Venus before they faced off in the US Open?

In tennis, love means nothing.

Why has Venus been so distant lately?

Mars answers "shes been under a lot of pressure and has really bad gas"

Plane Jokes More Plane Jokes

Why didn't Edward get on the plane?

Cause it was snowed-in.

What do you call a pilot who tries to tell a joke but gets distracted and crashes his plane into a building?

A comickaze

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why did the hipster fail chemistry?

He thought the bond was ironic.

What am I a pillow now?

Her: Yep, and pillows don't talk. I think we're bonding.

Fight Jokes More Fight Jokes

Why did the vengeful fireman lose his job?

He tried fighting fire with fire.

Who fought in the Civil War?

Millennial student: Captain America and Iron Man. T: ....

4 Jokes More 4 Jokes

What's the difference between a blue 7 and a red 4?

3, duh. (My ex's 9 year old little sister told me this joke, and followed is up with: "and YOU'RE the math guy!" >< Burned.)

Why does a chicken coop only have 2 doors?

If it had 4 it would be a chicken sedan

Shut Jokes More Shut Jokes

Why did the dry cleaners get shut down?

The owner was arrested for money laundry-ing

What's the difference between a dog barking at the front door and a woman screaming at the back door?

If you let the dog in, it will shut up.

Eiffel Tower Jokes More Eiffel Tower Jokes

Why Eiffel Tower is so high?

So the white flag can be visible from Berlin. Sorry :P .

Why did the terrorists have to blow up a Paris nightclub?

Because their planes kept missing the Eiffel Tower.