Bad Gas Jokes

What do you call a vegetarian with bad gas?

A leaf blower

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What do you call a cowboy with a case of bad gas?

Darn tootin'! (this is so dumb im sorry)

Why has Venus been so distant lately?

Mars answers "shes been under a lot of pressure and has really bad gas"

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Act Jokes More Act Jokes

What's the art of having multiple personalities?

Acting

Why do emo's always act so sour?

Because you can't spell Lemon without emo.

Pressure Jokes More Pressure Jokes

What's the difference between a spitter and a swallower?

10 lbs of pressure on the back of the head.

What did the bad shock tell the good shock?

I'm bad under pressure!! It's the lamest car joke in the world.

Gas Station Jokes More Gas Station Jokes

Why was a happy couple weary to kiss at the gas station?

They were scared of sparks flying.

What do you call a gas station that sells crabs?

A crustacean.

Mar Jokes More Mar Jokes

What was the first thing the stowaway to Mars said after he landed?

Just out of Curiosity...

What were the odds that Matt Damon made it off Mars?

Astronomical

Rob Jokes More Rob Jokes

How do you know if a Chinaman robbed your house?

Your homework is done and your computer is upgraded, but two hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway.

Who robs banks and squirts ink?

Billy the Squid.

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

What's a good thing about a novelist conman?

He may have a lot of cons, but he also has a lot of prose.

What do you call a rabbit with lots of fleas?

Bugs Bunny.

Case Jokes More Case Jokes

Whose bad idea was it to text him a 4th time just in case his phone was being weird?

Tequila, I'm looking at you.

Why did the cowboy sleep with his saddle?

In case of any night mares!

Venus Jokes More Venus Jokes

Why has Venus been so distant lately?

Mars answers "shes been under a lot of pressure and has really bad gas"

What do you call Venus Williams' collection of Pokemon?

The 'mons of Venus.