What did the deer first say when he got to church?

Deer God, please forgive me of my sins.

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Church Jokes More Church Jokes

How do you know you're at a redneck wedding?

Everybody is sitting on the same side of the church

What happened to the guy who farted in church?

He sat in his own pew.

Deer Jokes More Deer Jokes

What do you call a deer missing an eye?

No-eye deer.

What do you get when you mix a pickle and a deer?

A dilldoe

Forgive Jokes More Forgive Jokes

How do you insult a Catholic?

Any way you like, they have to forgive you!

What did the priest use to forgive the sinners that shot up his church?

A holey bible. And, yet, it still made more sense than Scientology.

Sin Jokes More Sin Jokes

What did the car dealer ask the oscilloscope?

sin or cosine

Why did the bear start playing music when the priest tried to absolve him of his sins?

Because the priest said "Bear, atone" and the bear thought he said "baritone" as in "play the baritone sax now". The bear immediately started wailing away on the sax, rocking back and forth so hard he knocked over all the prayer candles and almost snapped his own spine. All the priest could do was ask the lord for the strength needed to get this bear into heaven.