What did the duck do after he lost his wife, his job, and his house?

He became a quack head

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What's the first thing a hillbilly says after losing her virginity?

Get off me Daddy, you're crushing my cigarettes.

Why did Snoop Dogg lose control of his Pontiac?

The drizzle

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did the peanut say to his wife before he left?

I'll be back in a jiffy

How many beers is that for you today, dear?

Me: Like 4 maybe. 5 tops. Wife: I counted 19. Me: Well I rounded down.

House Jokes More House Jokes

Why is New Jersey called the Garden State?

Cause you're always guardin' your wallet, guardin' your car, and guardin' your house.

What does Godzilla do part time when he's not destroying cities?

He flips houses

Duck Jokes More Duck Jokes

Why did the duck leave the dancefloor?

He didn't want to get down on it.

Why are ducks funny?

Cause they be quacking jokes

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

Why did Holden Caulfield hate his job at Sprint?

He was surrounded by phone-ys!

How about something personal?

Me: Personally I need a job.

Quack Head Jokes More Quack Head Jokes

What do you call a duck that does drugs?

A quack head!

Why did the duck go into Rehab?

Because he was a quack head