What did the necrophile say to his ex-girlfriend?

I only loved you for your body!"

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Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What is the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

About 60 pounds.

Why do babies love sticking things in their mouth?

And why doesn't my girlfriend share this impulse?

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What's being in love feel like?

You know when someone cancels plans you wanted to cancel anyway Almost as good as that.

How to find out who loves you more - your dog or your wife?

Easy. Lock them both in a trunk and watch who will be happier to see you after you open it in 15 minutes.

Ex Jokes More Ex Jokes

What do you do when you miss your ex?

Reload and shoot again.

How many of my ex-girlfriends does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. Apparently she will screw anything.

Body Jokes More Body Jokes

Why are giraffes' necks so long?

Because their heads are so far from their bodies.

What do you call a body in a morgue which hasn't been viewed by anyone yet?

Remains to be seen.

Necrophile Jokes More Necrophile Jokes

What do an alcoholic and a necrophile have in common?

They both like to crack open a cold one.

What did the necrophile say when his girlfriend told him to be more romantic?

You're dead to me."