Why would you stay friends with an ex-girlfriend?

When you get fired from a job, you don't stay around and watch other people do your job.

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People Jokes More People Jokes

How can you tell that you're getting old?

You go to an antique auction and three people bid on you!

What do you call a theme park where people go to have selfies with chickens?

Pout-ry farm..

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

Why did the feminist get fired from Panera?

Because she ate all the cookies and didn't know how to make a sandwich.

Why did the employee get fired from the calendar manufacturing company?

He took a day off

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

Why was the candle mad at his friend?

He blew him off.

What did the stuttering Mexican say to his friend when he tried to steal his food?

These are nacho-nachos.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What do you call a cow with 3 legs?

my girlfriend who's a high school teacher heard this from a student the other day) Q: What do you call a cow with 3 legs? A: Lean Beef Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Ground Beef Q: What do you call a cow with 2 legs? A: Your mom

Why did the personal trainer break up with his girlfriend?

She just wasn't working out.

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

What do you call it when someone forces you to watch them take their clothes off?

A power strip.

Why was the young snowflake so upset?

Because he just watched his mom get plowed.

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

How many applicants does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one but 200 applied for the job.

Why did the tumblrina quit being a teacher?

It wasn't her job to educate people.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What's your favorite part about being a stay-at-home mom?

Me: Showering is optional Her: HAHAHA, be serious. Me: Ok, no drug tests.

What did the philanderer say to the gardener praying in the shed?

How do you stay faithful in a room full of hoes?

Ex Jokes More Ex Jokes

What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground?

Shoot him again.

How to stop an unwanted DM. Hi, how are you?

Me: Well, my ex has me on a wanted list because I'm a psychotic cow, how are you