What did the proctologist ask the restaurant goer?

Can I push your stool in?

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Which side is it best to lie on?

she asked. "The side that pays your fee" replied the doctor.

What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car outside of a Planned Parenthood?

Going inside to ask for a coat hanger.

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How do you stop an Albanian tank?

You shoot the guy pushing it.

How do you stop a Polish tank?

Shoot the guy that's pushing it

Stool Jokes More Stool Jokes

How do you fit 4 guys on a bar stool?

Turn it upside-down. But how do you get them off Shake the stool. (OK, I'll leave now.)

How do they all sit?

They turn the stool upside down

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Why can't Ben Carson help fix America's problems?

He's a neurosurgeon, not a proctologist.

What do you get when you ask a proctologist for a second opinion?

Two fingers.