What do you mean I can't drink alcohol with this medication?

You're not a bartender! You're just a pharmacist.

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Why do elephants drink?

Well, mostly to forget.....

Why do hipsters prefer to drink their PBR warm?

So that they can say they liked it before it was cool.

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

What'd you have for breakfast?

Me: A bowl of Oreos. CW: Lol you mean Cherrios Me: No.

How many Southerners does it take to change a lightbulb?

Change Whatever do you mean, *change*

Alcohol Jokes More Alcohol Jokes

Why when you spill red wine on a carpet do you take the stain out with white wine?

Because more alcohol is the solution to all problems.

Why bother?

They're only going to buy drugs or alcohol with it!"... oh, like I wasn't !

Medication Jokes More Medication Jokes

What medication that can make people inspire you?

Aspirin sorry guys

What medications do I take?

I'm not sure. The names on my neighbor's prescription bottles are ridiculously long

Bartender Jokes More Bartender Jokes

How'd ya get that?

asked the bartender. "From my husband," she replied. "But I thought he was out of town " he asked. "So did I!" she said.

What'll ya have?

Cat: Shot of rum. Bartender pours it Cat slowly pushes it off the bar Cat: Another.

Pharmacist Jokes More Pharmacist Jokes

Why do pharmacists put cotton wool balls in all of their drug bottles?

To Remind black people that they were cotton pickers before they were junkies.

What is the difference between a black guy and a white guy that sells drugs?

One's a pharmacist and the other's a drug dealer.