Medication Jokes

Why is the magnet on medication?

Because it's bipolar

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What did the urologist say to his patient who forgot to take his medication?

Urine trouble!

What medication that can make people inspire you?

Aspirin sorry guys

What medications do I take?

I'm not sure. The names on my neighbor's prescription bottles are ridiculously long

What do you mean I can't drink alcohol with this medication?

You're not a bartender! You're just a pharmacist.

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Raise Jokes More Raise Jokes

Why did the cultists adopt a dead child?

They wanted to raise the dead.

Why don't you ask Joseph, the carpenter?

God: Uh huge grin cos I'm banging his wife raises hand up top

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What does Yao Ming stand for?

When he sits down it takes too long to get back up.

What type of people can you not stand?

People in wheelchairs

Id. Jokes More Id. Jokes

Did you hear that David lost his ID in prague?

Now we just have to call him Dav.

What is the difference between ID and ED?

One of them is a flimsy thing that refuses to stand up on it's own. The other is a medical condition.

Ed Jokes More Ed Jokes

Who invented schools and teaching?

Ed. U. Cation!

What do dead and black people have in common?

Well, I don't know. -They both get a rest, Ed.

Patient Jokes More Patient Jokes

What did the doctor say to the speeding commuter?

Thank you for your patients.

Why didn't the doctor use Twitter to tell the patient that he had a deadly disease?

Because the condition was untweetable.

Bulb Jokes More Bulb Jokes

How do feminists screw in a lightbulb?

By holding the bulb up to the socket and waiting for the world to revolve around them EDIT: Rip inbox EDIT 2: Thanks for the gold!

How many stockholders does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.

Medic Jokes More Medic Jokes

What do you call an injured Confederate soldier that can't find a medic?

A rebel without a gauze.

What do you call two doctors with the same career?

Pair of medics.

Urine Trouble Jokes More Urine Trouble Jokes

What did the police officer say to the man who was urinating publicly?

Urine trouble, mate!"

What do you say to someone with a bladder problem?

Urine trouble.