What does a guy want more than anything in the world?

It doesn't matter. He has to ask his wife first.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What did the parrot say on Independence Day?

Polly wants a firecracker!

Why do you want to participate in this guerrilla war?

Me: picturing myself leading an army of gorillas into battle "Independence."

World Jokes More World Jokes

What is the least spoken language in the world?

Sign Language

How do feminists screw in a lightbulb?

By holding the bulb up to the socket and waiting for the world to revolve around them EDIT: Rip inbox EDIT 2: Thanks for the gold!

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did Ray Charles say when his wife told him she wanted a divorce?

I did not see that coming.

What did the Chinese guy say to his wife after her botched plastic surgery?

Honey, why the wrong face

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

Why doesn't the guy with OCD ever get laid?

Because when he turns his girlfriend on he has to turn her off again three times.

What do you call a guy who does not fart in public?

A private tutor.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

Who did the philosophy major ask out for the Halloween dance?

Nobody. He was too 'Freud.

What did Abe Lincoln say to the judge when he asked how he pleas?

I'm in a cent.

Matter Jokes More Matter Jokes

What did one John say to the other John?

What's the matter You look flushed!"

What's large, grey and doesn't matter?

An irrelephant.