How do you congratulate the guy who won the best tie contest?

You tell him... "that's definitely a win sir". Or if he did ok you can say you half win sir i suppose. :/

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell if your wife left you?

You get laid the same amount of times but the dishes start to pile up. Hey now!

How do you know if someone has run a marathon?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in a high school?

Names

What did the guy who didn't like vegetables say?

I don't really carrot all for vegetables."

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

What's better than winning the Paralympic gold medal?

Not being in the Paralympics

Why does Mexico never win the Olympics?

Because anyone who can run, jump, or swim already left.

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

Why did the tractor trailer mechanic always have half an erection?

Because he was constantly nursing a semi.

What has two legs and bleeds?

Half of your dog...I hit it with my car.

Suppose Jokes More Suppose Jokes

What am I supposed to take tomorrow?

Doctor: That was a 30 day supply. Me: Whoops.

Why is a cow that he jumps?

Because he higher and higher. (I translated the joke from Dutch, and yeah it's supposed to not make any sense, it just sounds funny, in Dutch at least. :-$)

Congratulate Jokes More Congratulate Jokes

How do you congratulate a fighter after winning a match?

Good jab.

How did the triangle congratulate the other triangle after hooking up with pentagon?

3edgy5me