What happened at the Mr. Softee when someone spiked the syrups with Viagra?

The whole place turned into a Hardee's.

This joke may have profanity.

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What happens when a feminist shoots a gun?

The gun gets triggered.

What happened when the black man went to night school?

The teacher marked him absent.

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What can turn a fox into an elephant?

A marriage certificate.

Why would anyone want to study the Earth and how it rotates?

I guess that some people just want to see the world turn

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Whatcha doing?

Me: "Going on twitter to hang out." H: "Twitter is an app, not a place." Me: *whispers venomously* "Is too a place!!"

What's your emer- She said don't get her anything for Valentine's Day! 911: And you didn't?

No! 911: Placing you in protective custody.

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Why do you need all this syrup?

The government worker says: "That's mollasified."

What do you call ants in your syrup?

Maple flakes From my well intentioned girlfriend

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Why was the Narwhal kicked off the volleyball team?

He was always spiking the ball.

How did the pharmacist know his drink was spiked?

He fainted after the punch line.