What happened at the Mr. Softee when someone spiked the syrups with Viagra?

The whole place turned into a Hardee's.

This joke may have profanity.
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What happens when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat miner.

What happened to the lizard in the wizard's garden pond?

He had him newt-ered.

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How Many Running Backs Does It Take To Turn On A Light?

Two. One to find the switch...the other to hit it.

What do you call the operation that turns a woman into a man?

An addadictamie.

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Why does Ellen Pao play so much tennis?

Its the only place she can get love.

What would Dorothy have said if she practiced Yoga instead of new age magical thinking?

There's no place like OM.

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Why do you need all this syrup?

The government worker says: "That's mollasified."

What do you call ants in your syrup?

Maple flakes From my well intentioned girlfriend

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What's the difference between the Friendzone and the Endzone?

Unlike football, you'll never get to spike it in the Friendzone.

Why was the volleyball player drunk at a game?

Because he spiked his drink