Syrup Jokes

What do you call ants in your syrup?

Maple flakes From my well intentioned girlfriend

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Why do you need all this syrup?

The government worker says: "That's mollasified."

What happened at the Mr. Softee when someone spiked the syrups with Viagra?

The whole place turned into a Hardee's.

This joke may have profanity.

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What is the similarity between a cough syrup and an undertaker?

They both take away the coffin.

Why did Dracula's mother give him cough syrup?

Because Dracula was coffin. Source: A Laffy Taffy wrapper.

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What do you call Dracula when he goes swimming?

Aqua-Vlad

What did the spectator say when the magician transformed Dracula into 2?

Miraculous. Edited: tough crowd

Laffy Taffy Wrapper Jokes More Laffy Taffy Wrapper Jokes

What does a television have in common with a rabbit?

His ears! Yes, this is a real joke I got from a Laffy Taffy wrapper today, not 30 years ago. I did not laugh.

What is a Mathematician's favorite thing to drink?

Root beer. (tbh: found on a Laffy taffy wrapper)

Ant Jokes More Ant Jokes

How many ants are needed to fill an apartment ?

Ten ants !

Why can't ants get sick?

Because they have little anty-bodies.

Ice Cream Jokes More Ice Cream Jokes

What's worse than dropping your ice cream?

The Holocaust.

What dressing would you like on your salad?

Me: Ice cream

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

When people on Facebook say they lost their phone and need everyone's numbers again, I text them: "Guess who?

for 2 weeks.

Why did the Energizer Bunny need to lawyer up?

He was charged with battery.

Undertaker Jokes More Undertaker Jokes

What did the undertaker say as the coffin fell out of the car?

We'll have to rehearse that."

What does one call an undertaker that's been drafted into the Military?

A Corpseman. Painfully obvious, yet a terrible play on the English language, I know. It was something I came up with a few years ago, for some unknown reason.

Fry Jokes More Fry Jokes

What do you call an aardvark in a frying pan?

A lardvark!

How do you hit 20 flies in one shot?

Hit an Ethiopian in the head with a frying pan.