Ant Jokes

How can you tell an ant is a boy or girl?

Throw it in water If it sinks = girl ant If it floats = buoyant

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What do you call ants in your syrup?

Maple flakes From my well intentioned girlfriend

Why can't ants get sick?

Because they have little anty-bodies.

How many ants can you fit inside an apartment ?

Ten-ants !

Why doesn't the ant ever get sick?

He has lots of antibodies.

What's worse than ants in your pants?

Uncles

What kind of Ant lives in rented accommodation?

Tenants.

How many ants does it take to fill an apartment?

Ten ants (Tenants)

Why do ants rarely, if ever, get sick?

Because of their tiny little anty bodies.

What do ants drink?

Tea. It's an ant tea joke.

When two ants want to run away and get married, who do they seek for help?

The Antelopes.

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What did the Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant?

Dead ant. Dead ant. Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead annnnnnnnttt.

What do you get when you have an ant with 8 legs?

An uncle that has to build a bigger shoe closet...

What insect is the Wood Ant related to?

The Should Ant and the Could Ant.

Why aren't ants going to church?

Because they are in sects.

How many ants does it take to rent a house?

Doesn't matter, ants can't rent a house

Why is it forbidden for ants to go in a church?

They are in-sects

What do call an ant that helps you with your taxes?

An account-ant.

Why don't ants go to church?

Because they are insects.

How many ants does it takes to fill an apartment?

Ten-ants

Why was the ant so confused?

All of if its uncles are aunts!

What kind of medicine do Ants use when they have eye problems?

Ant-Eye Biotics (Dad joke, I know)

How do you sort out Ant and Dec?

Squash one and deal with the other later.

What does a panther say when it steps on ants?

ded-ant.. ded-ant.. ded-ant dedan deadANT dedandead-annnnnt # d-d-d-deadant.

Why were the ants dancing on top of the jar of jam?

It said "twist to open"

What did the ant say when he walked into the insurance office?

Insure ants?

What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Antelopes

What do you call an ant that's walking in perfect form?

An informant

How many ants are needed to fill an apartment?

Ten-ants

Where do ants keep their armies?

in their sleevies

How many ants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A light bulb weighs about 50g and a single ant can lift about .2g, so it takes somewhere around 250 ants working together.

What was the aardvark's favorite Lady Gaga song?

Just Ants. Credit: My friend, the PUNisher.

Why was the baby ant so confused?

Because all of his uncles were ants!

What's the difference between a moose and an ant?

A: A moose has antlers, but an ant doesn't have mooselers.

What do you call an ant in space ?

Cosmonants & Astronants !

How do ants hide from aardvarks?

They disguise themselves as uncles!

What do you call an ant who can't play the piano ?

Discordant !

What are ants called when they run away very fast to get married?

Ant-elopers.

What do you call an ant who likes to be alone ?

An independant !

Where do ants go for their holidays ?

Frants !

Why do elephants hide behind trees?

To trip ants.

What's the difference between an ant and a bird?

A bird can fly.

What do you get if you cross some ants with some tics ?

All sorts of antics !

What do you call an ant who skips school ?

A truant !

How big was the ant when it knocked over the table?

giANT!!

What do you call an ant with frog's legs?

An antphibian.

How many ants are needed to fill an apartment ?

Ten ants !

What does the Pink Panther say when he steps on an ant?

Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant dead ant dead ant dead ant dead annnnnntttttttt Courtesy of my little cousin.

Why won't you loan a neighbor a cup of sugar?

sigh "You're a pile of ants wearing a bathrobe." bathrobe sags dejectedly

Why do aardvarks like to talk to ants?

They can stick to the subject!

Why don't ants get sick?

Because of their tiny little anty bodies

When is an aardvark jumpy?

When he's got ants in his pants!

Why did the dinosaur walk on two legs?

To give the ants a chance.

Which ant is the biggest?

Elephant

What do you call two ants running away?

Antelope!

What kind of ants are very learned ?

Pedants !

What did Pink Panther say when he stepped on Ant?

Nothing, Pink Panther doesn't talk!

What do you call an ant with five pairs of eyes ?

Antteneye !

What did the pig say when he found a line of ants in his trough?

Mmm. Canapes."

What kind of ant can you colour with ?

A crayant !

Why are all ants British?

Because they colonize.

Why does mama aardvark call her husband a cannibal?

Because he ate his ant for dinner!

How many ants does it take to own an apartment?

10 . It requires tenants to own an apartment.

What kind of ant can count?

An account*ant*.

What do you call an ant from overseas ?

Impartant

Why did the ants dance on the jam jar?

A: The lid said, "Twist to open."

What do you call a really really big ant?

A GIANT! Now what do you call a baby ant an Infant! What do you call an ant thats into business A Merchant! please post more ant jokes if you know of any.

What did Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant?

Dead Ant, Dead Ant....Dead Ant, Dead Ant, Dead Ant...

Who loves hamburgers French fries and ants?

Ronald MacAardvark!

What did the aardvark say to Noah?

What do you mean you only brought two ants!

How many ants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A light bulb weighs about 50g and a single ant can lift about .2g, so it takes somewhere around 250 ants working together.

How many ants does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Only two, but you've got to wonder how they climbed up there!

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Weigh Jokes More Weigh Jokes

How many ants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A light bulb weighs about 50g and a single ant can lift about .2g, so it takes somewhere around 250 ants working together.

What do you have there?

Me: struggling, crawling to his car because my backpack is weighing me down Ham.

Courtesy Jokes More Courtesy Jokes

What would Joan Rivers be doing if she was alive right now?

Scratching at the inside of her coffin. Courtesy of my dad.

What is the bibliophile's favorite website?

Reddit! Courtesy of my 32 year old boyfriend. He cracks himself up.

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many native Americans does it take to change a light bulb?

About seven. One to change the bulb, six to sing the song.

How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just two. It only requires that either the people are very small or the light bulb is very large.

Big Ant Jokes More Big Ant Jokes

What is the biggest ant in the world ?

An elephant !

What's the biggest ant in the world?

Girl: My Aunt Boy: No it's an elephant. Girl: You obviously haven't met my Aunt

Giant Jokes More Giant Jokes

What is even bigger than an elephant ?

A giant !

Why are you wearing masks?

There are no other giant, mutated turtles. No one's gonna mistake a different turtle for you.

De Jokes More De Jokes

What do you call a veal-birthing cow?

De-calf

Why was the ink happy?

Because it had its in-de-pen-dance. I'm posting lots of really bad jokes tonight that just appear in my head, if just one person enjoys just one joke is worth it, good evening.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What rhymes and let's you instantly know a redditor is a moron?

Purple circle.

How do you know If your girlfriend is Canadian?

Look at her beaver.

Lift Jokes More Lift Jokes

What did the bra say to the hat?

What did the bra say to the hat? You go on ahead and I'll give these two a lift.

How do you tell 2 Scotsmen apart?

You lift their kilts, and whichever one of them has a Quarter Pounder is a McDonald!