What would Joan Rivers be doing if she was alive right now?

Scratching at the inside of her coffin. Courtesy of my dad.

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Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

How did the pig get out of the tree?

The swine flu (joke my dad made up a couple years back during all this)

What do Kim Kardashian and her dad have in common?

They both got famous for getting a black man off.

Scratch Jokes More Scratch Jokes

What would Elvis Presley be doing if he were alive today?

Scratching at the inside of his coffin.

What would George Washington do if he were alive today?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

Inside Jokes More Inside Jokes

What's brown and furry on the inside and clear on the outside?

King Kong in clingfilm

What starts with a 'C', contains the letters U, N, and T, is hairy on the outside, and soft on the inside?

A coconut!

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

How can you tell a vampire has a cold?

They start coffin.

What would Marilyn Monroe be doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the inside of her coffin.

Courtesy Jokes More Courtesy Jokes

What does the Pink Panther say when he steps on an ant?

Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant dead ant dead ant dead ant dead annnnnntttttttt Courtesy of my little cousin.

What kind of bird always sticks together?

A velcrow Courtesy of Jokels.com:

Joan Rivers Jokes More Joan Rivers Jokes

What do Robin Williams and Joan Rivers want for Christmas?

A. Betty White.

What did Joan Rivers say to God when she arrived?

Get a new robe!