What would Joan Rivers be doing if she was alive right now?

Scratching at the inside of her coffin. Courtesy of my dad.

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Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

What's something white people can call other white people but black people can't call other black people?

Dad.

How do you hold a pirate rabbit?

With its buccaneers!

Scratch Jokes More Scratch Jokes

What does a child with stickers have in common with a cocaine addicted DJ?

They both love to scratch and sniff. (sorry if it's a repost I'm not here often)

Why did the man call his horse Fleabag?

Because he was often scratched!

Inside Jokes More Inside Jokes

What's the difference between a viola and a coffin?

With a coffin, the dead person is on the inside.

What would Joan Rivers be doing if she was alive right now?

Scratching at the inside of her coffin. Courtesy of my dad.

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

What would Hellen Keller be doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the lid of the coffin.

What did the undertaker say as the coffin fell out of the car?

We'll have to rehearse that."

Courtesy Jokes More Courtesy Jokes

What do you get when you cross a mountain climber and a mosquito?

You can't. A mosquito is a vector and the mountain climber is a scaler. Courtesy of my physics professor.

What country does fried fish swim in?

Greece! (courtesy of my ten year old)

Joan Rivers Jokes More Joan Rivers Jokes

What did Joan Rivers say to God when she arrived?

Get a new robe!

Why did Joan Rivers die during throat surgery?

Q: Why did Joan Rivers die during throat surgery? A: Because her career as a comic was stuck, but no matter how he tried, the Dr. couldn't pull a laugh out of her.