How do you sort out Ant and Dec?

Squash one and deal with the other later.

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Ant Jokes More Ant Jokes

What's the difference between an ant and a bird?

A bird can fly.

Why were the ants dancing on top of the jar of jam?

It said "twist to open"

Sort Jokes More Sort Jokes

What sort of drug does a duck use?

Quack cocaine

What sort of undergarments does a succinct pugilist wear?

Boxer briefs!

Deal Jokes More Deal Jokes

How did the mathematician deal with his constipation?

He worked it out with a pencil

What did the optimist say to his doctor when he found out he had lung cancer?

Well, I'll deal with this asbestos I can!"

Dec Jokes More Dec Jokes

Why do programmers always mix up Christmas and Halloween?

Because Dec 25 is Oct 31

Why do engineers confuse Christmas and Halloween?

Because OCT 31= DEC 25

Squash Jokes More Squash Jokes

Why did the vampire sit on a pumpkin?

It wanted to play squash.

What game do monsters play with humans?

Squash.