Why were the ants dancing on top of the jar of jam?

It said "twist to open"

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Open Jokes More Open Jokes

What would you do if you won the lottery?

Two friends meet together and one asks: What would you do if you won the lottery? -I would build a brothel! Oh, and if it went wrong and you loose money? -I'd open it to the public

How do government employees wink when they're at work?

They briefly open one eye.

Ant Jokes More Ant Jokes

How do you sort out Ant and Dec?

Squash one and deal with the other later.

What do you call an ant who skips school ?

A truant !

Jam Jokes More Jam Jokes

Why was the little strawberry sad?

Her mommy was in a jam.

What if they found the face of Jesus in a piece of toast but it was *actually* Jesus?

This is my body, I'm nice with jam."

Dance Jokes More Dance Jokes

What kind of dance does your mother do?

The MOMbo.

What do you call it when two cops dance?

Pork Grinds

Jar Jokes More Jar Jokes

What's scarier then ten babies in one jar?

A: One baby in ten jars How do you got a baby in a container A: blend it.

What's the difference between a jar of mayonnaise and France?

If you leave the jar alone for 200 years it'll develop a culture.

Twist Jokes More Twist Jokes

What is the difference between a doorknob and a Zika baby's head?

When you twist the doorknob it doesn't scream.

How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two: one to get it 95% done, and the second to give it the twist at the end.