Twist Jokes

What is the difference between a doorknob and a Zika baby's head?

When you twist the doorknob it doesn't scream.

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How many twists does a feminist need to screw in a light bulb?

None. They just grab it and the world to revolve around them.

What is the similarity between a weiner and a Rubik's Cube?

The more you twist them the harder they get.

Why were the ants dancing on top of the jar of jam?

It said "twist to open"

What's M. Night Shyamalan's favorite flavor of ice cream?

Twist

What did the cannibal coach yell when his player twisted his ankle?

Wok it off! Wok it off!

What's the easiest way to twist someone's arm?

Thalidomide

What is a tornado ?

Mother nature doing the twist !

What do bad dancers have in common with Michael J Fox trying to use the soft serve ice cream machine?

They both have a hard time pulling off a twist.

How can you mend King Kong's arm if he's twisted it?

With a monkey wrench.

What did one tornado say to the other?

A. "Let's twist again like we did last summer...."

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How do you make a door cry?

You twist its knob. edit: grammar

Why did the ants dance on the jam jar?

A: The lid said, "Twist to open."

How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two: one to get it 95% done, and the second to give it the twist at the end.

Why did the little kid dance on the jar of jam?

Because the top said "Twist to open."

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You look at your X and try to find out Y

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What did the detective say when he tripped over a pretzel left by the perp?

Well, that was an unexpected twist!

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What's the difference between Beyonce and a shopping bag?

A shopping bag can carry a child.

What's the difference between a blonde and McDonald's?

A: A blonde serves more people in a night.

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What's the similarity between Chris Brown being released and Pokemon Go being released?

An increase in battery cases.

What's the similarity between a pizza delivery guy and a gynecologist?

They both work with crust.

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What did the man say when he walked into a milk bar?

Can I grab some milk *Bah dum tsss*

Where were u on the nite of the 5th?

Stabbing a guy. "Louder for the tape." leans in Grabbing a pie. I went out for pie.

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What dressing would you like on your salad?

Me: Ice cream

What does M.Night Shyamalan always order when he goes out for ice cream?

A large twist cone.

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What does the Pink Panther say when he steps on an ant?

Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant dead ant dead ant dead ant dead annnnnntttttttt Courtesy of my little cousin.

How do ants hide from aardvarks?

They disguise themselves as uncles!