What happens if you tell a psychiatrist you are schizophrenic?

He charges you double.

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Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens when Batman sees Catwoman naked?

The Dark Knight Rises.

What Happens When You Put 1 Dollar On A Barbeque?

Dolla Grills, Yo

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why do they say cleanliness is next to godliness?

Because every time i talk dirty to my wife she tells me to go to hell.

How can you tell a rich Swiss from a poor Swiss?

The poor swiss washes his Mercedes by himself

Charge Jokes More Charge Jokes

How do you stop a rhino from charging?

You unplug it!

What does a negatively charged particle do when it gets excited?

It gets an erectron.

Psychiatrist Jokes More Psychiatrist Jokes

What's the difference between a psychiatrist and his patients at the mental hospital?

The patients are the ones that get better and get to go home.

How many psychiatrist does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but it takes a really long time, and the lightbulb has to want to change...

Double Jokes More Double Jokes

What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?

Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"

What is the quickest way to double your money ?

Fold it in half !