A Cruci-fixie.
At a religious revival, they say "STAND UP FOR JESUS" At a bikers rally, they say "SIT DOWN FOR CHRIST'S SAKE"
Because he got nailed on the boards.
Propertea
A kiwi !
He didn't. He fell off your bike.
Crime
In the cow-boose.
I don't know. Let me think. *pictures self riding jet ski made of bones through space*