What kind of engine did you put in it?

cut to me filling my car with tomato soup* Me: Um... A fast one.

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Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What is the difference between leaves and a car?

One you brush and rake, the other you rush and brake.

What do you get if you play a C&W song backwards?

Your wife back, your house back, your car back, and your dog back.

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair?

Barberians.

How do you find out that a cricket hears with its legs?

First, you put the cricket on a box, tap the box, and you see that the cricket jumps away. Now, you cut his legs off, put him on a box, tap the box, and you'll see that the cricket does not jump away.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of liquid does a pig's printer use?

oink

What kind of zoo has no animals except for a small, yappy dog?

A shih tzu

Fill Jokes More Fill Jokes

Whats the difference between congress and parliament?

Ones filled with a bunch of baboons and the other just doesn't give a hoot during the day.

How do you know when you're turning 40?

When your candy jar is filled with Tums..... My wife just came up with that one... Birthday is next week.. Ugh

Engine Jokes More Engine Jokes

How long has your car been doing that?

Me: Hubs: The engine smoking at a stoplight Me: I dont know, I look at my phone at lights.

Where did the engine go after he retired?

To live in a motor home

Tomato Soup Jokes More Tomato Soup Jokes

How can you tell the difference between a can of chicken soup and a can of tomato soup?

Read the label.

What kind of engine did you put in it?

cut to me filling my car with tomato soup* Me: Um... A fast one.