What's the one thing you don't want to ...

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

How to pick up chicks at the gym Pasted from Facebook: A man asks a trainer in the gym: "I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use?

Trainer replies: "Use the ATM"

What do clouds want to be when they grow up?

Thunderstorms

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Where are the posters?

WIFE: THEY JUST DISAPPEARED! In other room *cat is furiously stuffing missing dog posters into paper shredder*

Why does my shampoo smell like gasoline?

And when did my wife start smoking

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

How many livers do people have?

I want to make sure I have a backup before I put this thing on Ebay.

What's the only thing the English and French agree on?

Americans. Alternatives: What's the only thing Americans and the French agree on? The English. What's the only thing the English and Americans agree on? The French.

Fight Jokes More Fight Jokes

Why did helium get into a fight with neon?

They can't bond with each other, no matter how hard they try.

What would Captain America be called if he fought in Vietnam?

You weren't there man

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

How do you find out that a cricket hears with its legs?

First, you put the cricket on a box, tap the box, and you see that the cricket jumps away. Now, you cut his legs off, put him on a box, tap the box, and you'll see that the cricket does not jump away.

What's the most offensive jokes you guys have?

What's the most offensive jokes you have ever hear

Route Jokes More Route Jokes

What's the one thing you don't want to hear when fighting with your wife on a long road trip?

Recalculating route.

Which route should you take through the woods when riding a fizzy horse?

The psycho-path!

Recalculate Jokes More Recalculate Jokes

What's the one thing you don't want to hear when fighting with your wife on a long road trip?

Recalculating route.

What happens when two self-driving cars crash into each other?

RECALCULATING....*