What kind of pants do you buy for your pet Chihuahua?

Shorts!

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When is the best time to buy budgies ?

When they're going cheap !

Why was Lindsay Lohan feeling sleepy?

He was buying drinks.

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What did the shirt say to the pants?

What's up, britches.

What's the best way to make pants last?

Make the jacket first.

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What kind of degrees do slaves get in college?

Their Master's.

What kind of cheese do you use to hide a small horse?

Mascarpone!

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Whatcha got, reddit?

I am not funny and I need to be. I am writing a script for a short show that's formatted like "Weekend Update" on Saturday Night Live. So that means one sentence about the topic, and then one liner joke. Thank you all!

When is the only time when No shirt no shorts no shoes gets you service?

If you're a surfer and you're getting head.