Why was Lindsay Lohan feeling sleepy?

He was buying drinks.

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What do you call an overweight star wars fanatic who drinks too much coffee?

Java the Hutt

Why do ISIS fighters only drink instant coffee?

Because they hate the French Press. (This joke used to be more topical)

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

How did the roman cannibal feel about his victim?

He was glad he ate her.

What did the salad wearing a tuxedo say?

I feel a bit overdressed."

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

What kind of bug wants to buy lawn turf?

A gras shopper.

Why didnt you wear the sports jacket I got you?

Me: You bought me a ski jacket Her: Skiing is a sport!

Lindsay Lohan Jokes More Lindsay Lohan Jokes

What's the difference between Lindsay Lohan and the newspaper?

Lindsay Lohan never reads the newspaper in jail, but the newspaper always reads "Lindsay Lohan in jail"

How are Lindsay Lohan and the Note 7 alike?

The both leave your crotch on fire