What's common between a crying baby and a gun?

You must not bring either to the movies.

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Cry Jokes More Cry Jokes

Why did the water level in the pond rise?

Because the other fish were crying. Edit: *One of them dies.

What's the difference between a saxophone and an onion?

You don't cry when you cut up a saxophone. Happy Saxophone Day Why this musical abomination deserves its own day is beyond me. Edit: beside to beyond

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

What boy doesn't love milkshakes?

If your asparagus brought em, then I'd be impressed.

How do you impress a baker when you're taking his daughter on a date?

Bring her flours

Movie Jokes More Movie Jokes

Why can't a dog clap in the middle of a movie?

Because it keeps hitting pause.

Why doesn't ISIS appear in any Sci-Fi shows or movies?

because they are set in the future.

Gun Jokes More Gun Jokes

Why can't the cops keep calm and carry on ?

Because they carry guns instead

What do churches and guns have in common?

They both go PEW PEW PEW

Cry Baby Jokes More Cry Baby Jokes

What's common between a crying baby and a gun?

You must not bring either to the movies.

What's funnier than a crying baby?

A dead baby.