What's the best part of living in Alabama?

You don't live in Mississippi.

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Where does a two dimensional man live?

A flat.

What lives in gum trees ?

Stick insects !

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Why did former Alabama governor George Wallace fail high school calculus?

He refused to integrate.

Why wasn't Jesus Christ born in Alabama?

They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

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Why is the Mississippi so wide?

Because Mr. Sippi is hung like a horse.

What has 4 eyes and cannot see?

Mississippi.

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What's the best part of having a kid?

The chewy center.

What's the best part about living in Switzerland?

I don't know, but the flag is a big plus