Mississippi Jokes

What's the best part of living in Alabama?

You don't live in Mississippi.

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How do we know that the toothbrush was invented in Mississippi?

Because anywhere else it would've been called the teethbrush

What do you call a hippie's wife?

Mississippi

What do call a cup when drank from by a married woman?

A Mississippi cup.

What has 4 eyes and cannot see?

Mississippi.

Why is the Mississippi so wide?

Because Mr. Sippi is hung like a horse.

How did the hippie remember the number of wives he had?

He counted 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, 4 Mississippi...

How long does it take to get from Louisiana to Alabama?

One Mississippi.

Why is the Mississippi such an unusual river?

Pupil: Because it has four eyes and can't see!

What do they call a bunch of Mississippi football players standing in a circle holding hands?

A dope ring.

How do you spell Mississippi?

Redneck: Which one The river or the state

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What is the worst way to spell Mississippi?

Correctly.

How does a Russian count '1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi...'?

1 CCCP, 2 CCCP, 3 CCCP... Iwillseemyselfout

What did the Mississippi girl say when she lost her virginity?

Get off me Daddy you're crushin' my cigarettes.

What do you get if you flip a Mississippi family's photo album backwards?

An episode of The Biggest Loser

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Marry Woman Jokes More Marry Woman Jokes

How many married women does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Yeah right, like married women ever screw anything other than poolboys.....

What do call a cup when drank from by a married woman?

A Mississippi cup.

Toothbrush Jokes More Toothbrush Jokes

Why is a toothbrush a "tooth" brush?

Cause it was invented in Alabama! Inspiration came from the comments(http://mobile.reuters.com/article/idUSKBN0GP1NS20140825 irpc=932)

What's the difference between a crocodile and a toothbrush?

You can't brush your teeth with a crocodile.

Pupil Jokes More Pupil Jokes

Why did the teacher have trouble controlling her pupils?

She was cross eyed.

Who can tell me where Hadrians Wall is?

Pupil: I expect it's around Hadrian's garden miss!

2 Mississippi Jokes More 2 Mississippi Jokes

How does a Russian count '1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi...'?

1 CCCP, 2 CCCP, 3 CCCP... Iwillseemyselfout

How did the hippie remember the number of wives he had?

He counted 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, 4 Mississippi...

Swim Jokes More Swim Jokes

Where are you only allowed to swim if you have red hair, a lip piercing, three brothers, a missing finger, are slightly overweight and have a birthday in december?

The specific ocean.

Why are they called Tuna Fish?

Because they don't swim in pairs. Are there two of those fish? Nahhh.

Horse Jokes More Horse Jokes

How many Dornishmen does it take to shoe a horse?

Nine. One to do the shoeing, and eight to lift up the horse!

What did the horse say to the other horse?

Hay,I thought you knew horses couldn't speak!

Remember Jokes More Remember Jokes

What did the pirate with a steering wheel in his pants say when he couldn't remember why it was there?

Arrrh, it's driving me nuts

What did the starfish say when it realized that it lost it's ability to regenerate limbs?

I can't remember.

Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

What do you call the folks who hang around the musicians at conservatories?

A: Violists.

Why do Demons and Ghouls hang out together?

Because Demons are a Ghouls best friend.