Mississippi Jokes

What's the best part of living in Alabama?

You don't live in Mississippi.

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How do we know that the toothbrush was invented in Mississippi?

Because anywhere else it would've been called the teethbrush

What do you call a hippie's wife?

Mississippi

What do call a cup when drank from by a married woman?

A Mississippi cup.

What has 4 eyes and cannot see?

Mississippi.

Why is the Mississippi so wide?

Because Mr. Sippi is hung like a horse.

How did the hippie remember the number of wives he had?

He counted 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, 4 Mississippi...

How long does it take to get from Louisiana to Alabama?

One Mississippi.

Why is the Mississippi such an unusual river?

Pupil: Because it has four eyes and can't see!

What do they call a bunch of Mississippi football players standing in a circle holding hands?

A dope ring.

How do you spell Mississippi?

Redneck: Which one The river or the state

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What is the worst way to spell Mississippi?

Correctly.

How does a Russian count '1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi...'?

1 CCCP, 2 CCCP, 3 CCCP... Iwillseemyselfout

What did the Mississippi girl say when she lost her virginity?

Get off me Daddy you're crushin' my cigarettes.

What do you get if you flip a Mississippi family's photo album backwards?

An episode of The Biggest Loser

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Why did the number of parking tickets spike after Persephone was carried off to the underworld?

Because Demeter stopped working.

Why do most movie sequels stink?

Because movie makers are basically doing a number 2.

Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

Where do all the cutest electrons hang out?

A d orbital

Why do gingers hang out with black people?

Because gingers have no soul, and black people have too much!

Louisiana Jokes More Louisiana Jokes

What is the loneliest bayou in Louisiana?

Bayou self

How long does it take to get from Louisiana to Alabama?

One Mississippi.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why is it hard for Arab men to have a guy's night out?

They have to find babysitters for their wives.

What happens if you play a country song backward?

You get your house back, your dog back, your wife back, and you sober up.

Horse Jokes More Horse Jokes

What do you call a horse that lives next to you?

A Neigh-bor. Sorry for my horrible dad joke.

What do you call a horse wearing Venetian blinds?

A zebra!

1 Mississippi Jokes More 1 Mississippi Jokes

How did the hippie remember the number of wives he had?

He counted 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, 4 Mississippi...

How does a Russian count '1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi...'?

1 CCCP, 2 CCCP, 3 CCCP... Iwillseemyselfout

Russian Jokes More Russian Jokes

Where do you send bad Russian cows?

The Moolag

What do you call it when Russians get diarrhea from drinking water in Mexico?

Trotsky's Revenge

Dope Ring Jokes More Dope Ring Jokes

What do they call a bunch of Mississippi football players standing in a circle holding hands?

A dope ring.

What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?

A: A dope ring.