What's your best mattress joke?

Trying to win a new mattress in a contest and I need a clean mattress joke to win (dumb, I know)

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why won't people know when you replace words with instruments?

Idk, accordion to research I guess.

What dino was known for having distinguished tastes?

A Connosaur

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What do you call a Pokemon who is trying to quit smoking?

Vaporeon

What do kids yell at old people who are just trying to play?

GET OFF MY LAN!

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

What did Orion receive when he won second place in the archery contest?

The constellation prize.

Who always wins the insect election?

The lesser of two weevils.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Whatcha got, reddit?

I am not funny and I need to be. I am writing a script for a short show that's formatted like "Weekend Update" on Saturday Night Live. So that means one sentence about the topic, and then one liner joke. Thank you all!

How many girlfriend does a white boy need to shoot a school?

None.

Contest Jokes More Contest Jokes

Who has more testicles?

contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.

What do you call a skeleton with blonde hair in a closet?

Last year's winner of the blonde "hide and go seek" contest