What's your best mattress joke?

Trying to win a new mattress in a contest and I need a clean mattress joke to win (dumb, I know)

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What do you suppose Ray Rice's fiance' did when he got her home from knocking her out?

The dishes if she knows what's good for her!

Why aren't midgets attention whores?

Cause they know they're important.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

Why did the old man hate using the new chip cards?

He's trying to watch his sodium intake.

Why did the cannibal get banned from the hospital?

He kept trying the doctors patients(patience)

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

How do you win an election?

By having people believe that you've won an election.

What does a traffic cop do when he wins some money?

Buys an intersection for a private business work.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Why did the 3d modeler need back surgery?

He injured his spline!

Why did the left alt key and the right alt key break up?

They needed some space.

Contest Jokes More Contest Jokes

What do you call a skeleton with blonde hair in a closet?

Last year's winner of the blonde "hide and go seek" contest

Who has more testicles?

contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.